27 September 2007
Subject: Persimmons in Moonlight


To those who will never find it tiresome,

It has become a trend that many of you write to tell me that you just lost the game. I hardly think that it's fair, when I'm trying really hard not to play. Can't I be out of bounds or something? For cricket's sake! I move to China and I still can't get away from your blessed game that I'm still NOT PLAYING. So, this paragraph is to retaliate. You can't stop reading, I can tell, and when you have an idle moment, you will remember this paragraph, about how it was about the game, and then you will have just lost the game of your own accord. Because reading it now doesn't count, yes? And just in case I /am/ playing, which I'm totally NOT, it should be noted that I would have just lost the game. *fist-shake to the west* *quick turn-about, another fist-shake to the east, cuz it's actually shorter*

New pixels: mollybee.org/china.html My web-design technique is quite elegant in its simplicity, really. I throw digital mud at a virtual wall and see what sticks. Binary ballistics, through a meta-real network, to target the apertures in your squiggly organic eye-globes. Hooray for silicon semiconductors, contractual coding coordination, and all the jiggity jazz with the thing... with the clicky... and all the buttons. Oh yes, and thanks for your personal contributions.

In my explanation of the difference between "sweet" and "salty" to half of the class, I pantomimed eating a cracker. It was so vividly real to me; I noticed myself shifting the uneaten portion of the imagined cracker to my other hand when I paused to write something down. And when I was done demonstrating with the invisible cracker, I didn't create an invisible plate to set it down on, and it seemed a shame to waste it, so I covertly ate it when I thought no one was looking.

Some people, with self-realization in such a real-to-one unreal-to-most situation, might fear they were going crazy. It's not like that would be a new destination for me; I'm a bona fide local in the land of crazy. But I'm not going crazy-- I'm going brilliant. I wouldn't trade my brain for anything! Ah, but I'll have to... eventually.

Some people, when self-described madly in love with another, might feel "intoxicated" by their coursing adoration. If nothing else, I am a mere bundle of emotional cords, but if I love you truly, you do not intoxicate me. You clarify me, crystallize the thoughts I've always had but could never express. You direct my attention and focus my shine. I am not high on your poisons or loving the process and side effects more than your actuality. It is simple. But, sweetie, you're right, not binary. Love is never wrong, or binary.

I met my brother, Yaning. I used to not have a brother, but now I do. It was a lot faster than breeding sea monkeys or brewing root beer-- I just showed up at the train station and Bam! Brother. He is 18, a good boy, and very sweet. He doesn't drink or smoke or like clubs, and is conscious of his health. He doesn't eat mooncakes because they contain too much oil. He likes to play football (soccer) and billiards (and pool (but maybe not snooker)). Apparently, he moved to Xiamen for the month, so I'll see him around until he gets his visa to join his mother and my father in California.

In the office, a woman gifted me with two leaf-shaped stones on red cords. So I wear one and keep the other for someone else to not wear while I think of them. The following day she gave me a few chestnuts, so I braided them in space throughout the afternoon. But to accompany her salty wrinkled plums, I ended up eating my juggling balls.

At lunch, I rest with my dictionary at heart level to promote word circulation. I study characters I think are pretty or interesting or related to other characters I know. So I learn things like "phoenix", "jagged", and "enzyme" which are not as useful as other words might be for my basic conversation style. Here is a sample of such, with Lichi on mid-autumn night:

You're good. I not want eat, thank you. Correct, Mitch go I don't know where. Eat his now-not girlfriend. Last night I am here. You are not here. You go where? I not want eat, thank you. I not have want eat. She can not eat. I also can not eat. Not "cannot eat." I can also not eat. I am able not eat. It is possible I can not eat. I know I can eat, I can also not eat. Good. Full moon. Mid-autumn day happy, but my heart is not good. My heart-heart not good. I love too many people. They are not here. American man-people. I exist. I existed before I met him. I knew what I should do with my existence before I met him. I exist now. Now I not know what I should do with my existence after I met him. I can be anywhere. I can be China. I can be America. I can be devil knows where. It not matter where I be. Now I am China. I am here. Good. Today they told me, you must go Hong Kong tomorrow, you know? I not know, thank you. Good, you must go Hong Kong tomorrow. Oh, good, very pretty, thank you! I have cold. I not have monies. I not want sit 20 hours go Hong Kong, two days. But I must go Hong Kong tomorrow. I not have energy. I not want eat, thank you. Not want eat. Not have. Not have want eat, thank you. Not have. Not want. Thank you, not want eat. I am not hungry. Not want eat. I am eat-full. I ate fruit. My evening meal is I ate four fruits. Orange colour, not big, four. Not mango, how you say? Not want eat. Not want... good, I eat one item. I want eat one item, not now. This has fish? Not have fish, this has under earth cry root. Correct. I go up now. Many thanks, goodnight!

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!
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